IKEA Furniture Assembly in 10 Frustrating Steps

Oh, IKEA. I love your stylishly efficient furniture. I love your beautiful displays. I love your irresistible prices. I love your meatballs. I love you until I bring my IKEA goods home and have to assemble them.

And what do you do to help me in my plight?

You give me an allen wrench. GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERAAnd an instruction manual, with NO words. ikeaconfused

No, that little thought bubble does not quite capture my absolute bewilderment at the idea of turning this…

ikeamess…into an armchair.

Since I found the official IKEA instructional manual lacking, I’ve made my own. YOU are welcome.


Step 1: Pour yourself a huge glass of wine or your preferred beverage. Just like Gatorade is the official drink of the NFL, I declare wine to be the official drink of IKEA furniture assembly. courteney-cox-big-joe

Step 2: Take all the pieces of your future IKEA piece out of the box. Regardless of the item, there should be an absolute minimum of 48 pieces.

Should look something like this.
Should look something like this.

Step 3: Strongly consider the option of just… not doing it. screw-thatStep 4: Suck it up, buttercup. Take a big gulp of your wine. Get out your practically useless IKEA instruction manual, allen wrench and start assembling!ikeaassembly

Step 5: During assembly, take plenty of “this doesn’t look right” breaks and gulps of wine.kristen-wiig-as-annie-in-bridesmaids-20111

Step 6: Finish assembly and celebrate your success! You’re like the Bob Villa of IKEA furniture assembly!

685Step 7: Examine mysterious bag of extra pieces.


Step 8: Decide they are bonus pieces unnecessary to the function of this piece of furniture.


Step 9: Find glaring assembly error, which also solves the mystery of the extra pieces.


Step 10: Cry.



Repeat steps 3-6 as many times as necessary. If you’re still unsuccessful after eight or more attempts, declare war on Sweden.

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